How to manage WITH people

Following on from yesterday's rant about bad/ineffective/authoritarian/bureaucratic/secretive (call it what you will) management, I thought today I would be rather more constructive and put forward some proposals about how to become more effective in the way that you manage. It's about developing a style that I am going to call  Managing with People, and if you've read some of my previous posts you won't be surprised to find that at the heart of it is trust.

Actually, it's ALL about trust and it's ever so simple because there are only three steps:

  1. Trust yourself.
  2. Trust your people, customers, suppliers and investors.
  3. Repeat from Step 1

So there you go – enjoy.

OK, I admit it, it's not quite that simple, but that is the essence of it.

In my experience, trusting myself is always the foundation of my ability to trust other people, and their willingness to trust me.

When I believe in myself and what I am saying, my relationships just work better.

I remember nearly 20 years ago, in the early days of my formal training as a coach, I was faced with the prospect of having an "uncomfortable" management conversation with one of my team. I was very nervous, convinced that the conversation would go badly and lead to all sorts of horrific consequences.

I went to the person who was training me and asked how I should approach the conversation. After all these years I still consider his reply to be some the most powerful and effective coaching I have ever received.

"You know exactly what to do – trust yourself."

And, of course, he was right. I did know exactly what to do. When I trusted myself, the noise in my head quietened down and the situation stopped being all about me. I became able to have the conversation compassionately and as a contribution to the other person, and to trust him to respond in a positive way.

And not surprisingly, the ensuing conversation was easy and lead to a strengthening of the relationship with my team member and a growth of mutual respect.

I have not a single doubt that trusting yourself is always the place to start.

And you can start today.

You know exactly what to do – trust yourself.

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